5 Simple Steps to Fix the ‘She is Copying Me’ Feeling.
We have all felt it; all been annoyed by it and all had to overcome it; that someone maybe copying your ideas. Unfortunately as a human race we seek to compete and it all starts at a very young age. As a teacher, parent and woman I see it daily with not only with woman but also within children, young girls and youth. It can be seen at work, at the shops, within friend groups, in the school grounds, maybe in the school car park or the person the street. It is the ‘look each; other up and down; thus creating the sense of competition, or admiration or the feeling of jealousy and then copying or emulation may occur. This further creates anger, ego explosions and conflict. For many this is the ultimate in annoyance and women or girls will talk about it daily discussing, complaining. I bet it was possibly discussed today within your group or children’s group the fact of ‘emulating’, or ‘copying’.
Why do our minds work this way and how can we help the situation?
Everywhere and to every person this happens: someone will admire you or ‘copy’ you … or ‘emulate’ your idea in some way. It may be the way they changed their hair, bought the same outfit, begin eating the same food or doing the same thing in a picture, copying your phrase or stance. It can be infuriating; as the feeling of defence rises or that competition factor hits it’s peak barometer in our brains.
Unfortunately it does not end there as for many, it angers so badly that they cannot remove themselves from the feeling. It continues to be spoken about and sometimes behind each other’s back; which leads to confrontation. It leads to blocking on social media, which leads to further relationship issues. However, we must seek to see it differently and that it is possibly NOT happening like this at all. Generally, it is because we have wound it up in our thoughts, overthinking and repeating… ‘Oh! Go get your own ideas!’
But it’s ok to have these thoughts and it can be solved.
It is possible to NOT get caught up in the feeling.
But before we go too far by sending a horrible text whilst in a low mood – let’s find some perspective.
Take for example big business, your favourite brands; technologies developers; clothing designers; artist; authors; these people develop an idea; create it with their hard earned money; sometimes scraping it together and suddenly their idea is then being mass marketed, copied & improved on.
Unfortunately emulation or copying has happened forever and it will continue to happen. We must reflect honestly and who came up with the initial idea anyway. Copying and emulation is here to stay and there is absolutely nothing you can do to that person to stop it.
NEVER fear though: YOU are in control of your mind and you can change your feelings about it.
How to change the feeling of emulation in 5 simple steps
- See the innocence:
Seek to see the fact that they may not be copying you; it may be someone else. Many people are so stuck in their own thoughts and generally they do not even realize they have done anything like you or affected you in anyway.
- Look beyond the behavior:
Look to see the person as the person, the person you know in the flesh, which may have helped you in the past or tried their best.
- Seek first to understand the person:
Look carefully at the person’s current ‘state of mind’ or ‘point of view’ at this time; they may be feeling low within their self-esteem and love the way you do things.
- Give Compassion:
They may just require your compassion and be seeking your approval, so give it to them, say what a good job they are doing or how lovely they look for this person needs love too.
- They are truly inspired by you!
That’s a good thing; it’s actually a great thing. If you have inspired someone to be better- then huge congratulations to you! That is exactly what the world is about! Helping others to be their best and become happier people.
Rather than feeling betrayed or complaining – feel empowered; feel satisfied that you have inspired someone. Rather think how you have helped this person and say in your mind… ‘May you be well and I am so glad you enjoyed my idea’. I know this may sound ridiculous to some but it truly works… by simply letting go of the control freak and self-absorption of our own ego we can move out of this headspace. Don’t waste your energy on getting mad: rather bask in the glory, of it. Smile and say ‘oh they liked what I did’.
But always remember they are NOT you… and you are uniquely you. Nobody can be you. Never can there be the exact person you are with your brain, with your heart, with your thoughts with your dedication and with your story.
So go on and own it! If you turn up to a party in the same outfit or see a picture of a friend doing your exact moves or recreating your wedding themes. Look at them and say it’s ok; that’s nice they look up to me.
Go on living the next day and do something better or something new because they have no idea what you are going to next … and let them keep on chasing.
Health and Happiness always,