As I stepped through this incredible place toward dinner all on my own. I take my time as I reflect upon the year past. This particular time last year, I had finished writing my memoir a 330 page novel about my learnings in a vivid section of my life that I thought would be worth sharing in paperback. A positive novel focussed on helping young women; a story sharing of my mistakes and pondering questions. I entitled this memoir ‘Because I Was A Bad Wife’ not because I necessarily was a BAD WIFE but because who cares if I was or I was not. My aim in life was to be a thoughtful and compassionate person, a loving mother and the best partner, wife or love that I could be.
Over this year there have been many changes and nothing that I regret or fear. I have found a new level of happiness and independence unfathomable to the old B.
I know there are still steps forward and many backwards but I continue to move on. Move like water flexible and with force rather than a rock stuck and eroding away.
‘My 10 Greatest Learnings’ and life rules for women in 2018 and beyond.
- See failure as the beginning not the end. Mistakes are good – simply admit it; lose the ego and move on.
- Having a perfect house will not make you happy.
- Don’t change your last name when marrying. Keep your own name always. This is you. This is your identity. Marriage does not define you.
If I bare my truth (as I so often do) I lost myself. I am still fighting to regain my actual name. My birth name is gone as I have grown and created an identity with my business. This is the sad process of gender equality in this extremely sexist system of partnership. Over the process of my separation; and divorce using the married name ‘as wife’ is now like taking a dagger to the heart every single time someone says it. This process has been extremely long; expensive and unbelievably tedious. On divorce papers the husband is the first name column and the wife tucked aside. When will we actually get equality – as we women pay the same amount or more to divorce and yet men still have the power to say NO to divorcing the spouse.
- If you don’t work for it or you don’t chase it … well you won’t get it. No one will give you anything; you must prove your worth and gain respect.
- Have your own bank account that you save at least $50 in per pay. This account saved my world as not only did it give me my name on bank statements but gave me security if partner was not the partner anymore.
- Put all properties and all bills in both partners name. I was a no-one an actual nobody to the accounts I had paid for years. I had no access to anything due to my name not being on accounts this left me fighting for my identity. This is especially true with phone companies. Ensure your phone, car and all insurances are in your name. Go DO IT now!
- Don’t overthink situations or make assumptions about situations or people. It’s a waste of your time and brain space because generally these people are not thinking about you.
- Never compare yourself to others. Be uniquely you as it is the best person you can be.
- Get rid of the fear and have a go. Who cares if you fall, or fail. Opportunities come for a reason so take it! Trust the flow of opportunities.
- You are enough and truly capable. You can do anything so start tonight. Write a goals journal. Include everything you want now; tonight, tomorrow next month or this year. Unleash all desires and set a plan of attack. Then watch it unveil each and everyday. It’s magic!
Wishing you bucket loads of strength and wellness for your weekend.
Health and Happiness,
Because I was a BAD WIFE -HERE-